Veigar the Master of Evil in Business
by CookiesOnFridays
Summary: With the Institute of War gone for good, there is nowhere left for the champions to go. Thankfully, Piltover was kind enough to take the champions in and hire them as workers. Now working for Piltover, Veigar has to get funds for his evil schemes for world domination. However, he will experience rough times ahead as he learns to deal with his co-workers, customers... And Lulu...
1. Working for EVIL

_Veigar the Master of Evil in Business_

Chapter 1- Working for E.V.I.L

_Deep within the institute of war, a great evil lurked in the shadows. The evil being watched the other champions and summoners as they walked by in the busy hallways, never noticing him of his evil presence due to his height. For months, he has waited. For years, he has climbed the latter within the Institute of War. He became the most feared, and most destructive evil being there is known to man… And when he saw the world roar with poverty and destruction, he took it upon himself to become the ruler of all of Runeterra! Ruling with an iron fist, crushing all those who stood before him!_

_ The earth roared with burning flames, the skies were dark and smothered in dark gray smoke. There wasn't even a small speck of light to be seen in this damned world! There was no light, no hope to save anyone now… _

_ As far as the eyes can see, a wave of slaves carried explosives towards a single point that was known as Noxus, or WAS known as Noxus. Now it is called, "The Pit of Purple Hell Where Noxians Can Die". Also known as TPPHWNCD… The master of evil was never good at naming things…_

_ "That's right my slaves! Keep working till your backs can work no more!" The purple man of evil yelled._

_ The evil yordle took out his whip and slapped it against another yordle's back. The blue colored yordle fell to her knees as she dropped her basket of explosives all over the burning ground._

_ "No slacking off!" The evil being yelled, "Or your Teemo gets it!"_

_ "No!" The blue skinned yordle named Tristana cried, "Not my little Teemo!"_

_ "TOO LATE, I ALREADY KILLED HIM WITH HIS OWN SHROOMS!"_

_ Tristana cried, and cried till she was nothing more but a small heap of flesh crawling on the ground like a worm._

_ The evil purple man of evil roared with laughter. But soon, he got bored. And proceeded to pick up Tristana and send her back to work with no pay for the next week. It was her job after all!_

_ "Job… Pay…" The purple man of evil thought out loud._

_ The purple man of evil, also known as Veigar, stared off into the smoke filled sky and squinted, suddenly thinking very, very hard._

_ "I feel like I'm forgetting something…"_

_ "What's the matter Veigar?" _

_ Veigar jerked in surprise and stared at the yordle who called his name. But to his annoyance, he saw Lulu standing before him…_

_ "L-Lulu!" Veigar screamed, "What are you doing here!?"_

_ Lulu was a short, purple skinned yordle that wore a big velvet like hat and wore a dress that matched. She held a large wooden staff that was about her height and had a little pink fairy that followed her around everywhere. Veigar was known to label her as "insane" or "purple midget that you can't stay the hell away from", and hell knows he tried to stay away from her. But for some reason, she always appeared everywhere he went. Even now here she is, standing in front of the ruler of Runeterra; talking to him casually like the day was sunny and nice with a field without Teemo shrooms._

_ "I came here to see what you're up to silly!"_

_ "Well as you can see I'm kind of busy! And how the hell did you get past all my minion guards without getting yourself killed!?"_

_ Lulu giggled and twirled her hair, "This is a dream! I just came here to tell you to get up! You have a job to do, and if you keep sleeping like this I'm gonna have to get you fired~!" She said with a tease._

_ The master of evil stared blankly at Lulu, "… What?"_

_ Suddenly, a distant sound of a telephone rang off in the distance. And as Veigar stared at the smoke filled sky, his suspicions grew bigger and bigger. Ever so big that he started to panic._

_ "W-What's going-"_

_ Suddenly, a huge telephone came down from the sky like a meteorite coming straight for Veigar. _

_ He began to scream in fear, and turned to Lulu for help; his eyes pleading. But she was gone from his sight, nowhere to be found._

* * *

><p>"NO!" Veigar yelled, jerking his head off of his desk.<p>

He stared blankly at the grey wall of his cubical, and blinked. Staring at the ceiling and looking all around himself, he was assured that nothing was out to kill him.

That and the world wasn't on fire… On top of that, Veigar realized he wasn't the ruler of the world anymore.

"It was only a dream..." Veigar muttered disappointedly.

Veigar sighed deeply, and returned to typing on his computer which was customized to fit his size. His chair and table were adjusted to fit his height which made his cubical a bit smaller than the other employees.

Currently Veigar worked for "The Future of E.V.I.L" where E.V.I.L stood for 'Electronic Vendors and Institution of Logistics." This meant that the company sold electronics such as laundry machines, cell phones, and the works. Like any other company, the workers would pick up calls and orders from the customers and then deliver the items to them. Veigar here works as the salesmen of the company, as well as customer service.

When Veigar heard about his job position, he was happy! So happy, he placed ten pieces of paper in his 'murder box' with Teemo's face on it. However, all he drew that night was a blank piece of paper.

The atmosphere was intense as everyone was making quick phone calls to pitch sales and answering calls from interested customers. The light bulbs above shined like that of the sun and the smell of old coffee and donuts wafted in the air. In the distance, a water machine let out a loud _BLUB_ as it refilled itself and let out an air bubble.

Veigar moaned and muttered curses under his breath as he resumed his work on typing a paper for his boss on the statistics of this week's sales.

That is, until he suddenly got a phone call.

_Ring… Ring… Ring…._

For a few seconds Veigar ignored the phone and continued to type vigorously…

_Rinnnggg…. Rinnnnggg…. Rinnnngg... Riiinnngg… Riiiiiinnnnggg_

Veigar's temper was starting to diminish and he began to smash his keyboard…

_Riinnnngg…. Riiinnnng…. Riiiiiiinnnnnggg…. Riiiiiiiiinnngg…._

As if the phone were taunting him, the ringing became louder, and louder.

_Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnggg….. Riiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggg…. Riiiiiiinnnnnnnngggg_

Veigar slammed his palm against the phone and picked it up screaming, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?"

The person on the other line gasped in surprise, and then chuckled; ignoring the rude greeting. _"Well I guess the company really is evil! Ha, and I thought the advertisements were just for jokes!"_

"Yeah, yeah whatever, just cut to the chase will ya!?"

_"Well you see, I've watched your commercial about the __Extra Evil Blender__ and I was wondering if what the commercial said was true! Does it really blend Evil!?"_

Veigar sighed at the stupidity of his question. Veigar felt that with every new generation, the people became stupider and stupider (another reason why Veigar wanted to take over the world.) Veigar swallowed a curse down his throat and answered, "Yes… It can blend twice the evil of an orange, a cabbage, and another other vegetable… Which you are-"

_"I'm sorry?"_

"Umm nothing!" Veigar stuttered, "A-And as I said, it can blend twice the evil out of anything! Fruits, vegetables, you name it!"

_"Mhmm…" There was a pause… "But will it blend?"_

A vein popped in Veigar's head and he whispered, "Look you little s***, I don't got time for your f****** games. So do you want to order an evil blender or not? Cause if you say yes, I swear against my dead mom that I will find you, and kill you along with your family!"

The man on the other line just chuckled, _"Man! You guys truly are evil! Ya almost got me there! Well, I changed my mind; I'm going to get a regular blender. Thanks for your time!"_

"****!" Veigar yelled as he slammed his phone against the dial pad.

There was a knock against his cubical wall and Veigar turned his head with steam billowing out of his ears. But he relaxed a little as he realized that it was his co-worker and friend, Yasuo, who was standing by the entrance of his cubicle with a blank expression on his face.

"Tough customer again?" Yasuo asked moving closer to Veigar.

Veigar sighed and nodded, "Yep, another retarted customer. I swear, every single day people get dumber and dumber!"

Yasuo grunted in agreement while he pulled out two donuts and gave one to Veigar. "Yeah… You know, sometimes I wish we could get back to fighting in the Rift you know?"

Veigar nibbled on his donut and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah," Yasuo said with a sigh, "It really sucks that the Institution of War went bankrupt after they implemented the new version of the Summoners Rift."

"Yeah totally! Like holy Teemo's shrooms, how much money did they spend on making that place? 500 million? A billion-"

"10 Trillion gold pieces went into that project. It literally screwed up the country. With the high taxes and all gathered from all the city states; it created a friggen up-roar! Country went broke, the League went broke, got us kicked out. It's only thanks to Piltover's inventions that saved us… That's why everyone in the League has a job here… Real f***ing boring though…"

"Mhm… Sometimes I just wish I can blast a hole in the wall and escape from this hell."

Yasuo finished his donut and whipped his hands against his suit, "You're not the only one. I still can't believe- Uh wait, excuse me a second."

Yasuo's phone rang in his pocket and he answered gingerly with his masculine voice, "Hello! You have reached the Institution of E.V.I.L where we, the minions, are happy to bring you the most EVIL types of appliances right to your doorstep!"

Yasuo looked at Veigar and Veigar shooed him away to get back to his business. After a nod of thanks from Yasuo, Veigar was once again left alone in his cubical to stare aimlessly at the blinking mouse cruiser.

With the League gone, he had nowhere to go. He had no funds to fund his evil schemes, and this was the best he can do till he can reach the top where he will rule the world.

That is, if he can endure the annoyance of all the former champions working here now…

Veigar's head felt heavy as he slammed his face against the keyboard and fell asleep out of pure boredom.

Thus begins Veigar's journey of pain and suffering in E.V.I.L…


	2. The Meeting of EVIL! (And Lunch)

_Veigar the Master of Evil in Business_

Chapter 2- The Meeting of EVIL! (And Lunch)

"And with the new quantum mechanics it will produce a new energy source that uses an infinite mana source that comes from a nexus crystal that came from the Noxian mines that were dug by the Noxian workers and were hired by the…"

Veigar was at the brink of killing himself with his own tie.

_"The boredom is going to kill me before I can even try to strangle myself.f"_ Veigar concluded in his mind.

It was a Tuesday, and with every coming Tuesday in the _Future of E.V.I.L,_ came a meeting in which everyone was supposed to attend to learn about the new technologies the scientists have made. However instead of just giving a brief summary or speech, the company director decided it was a good idea to f*** with them and send a boring, mono-tone speaking man to explain to them how some crap machine worked.

Veigar pounded his fist on top of the table and tried to keep himself from sleeping, or worse, dying.

"… And that concludes the way the machine was produced, and made…"

The entire room breathed out a sigh and were about to get up from their seats.

"Now comes the way the machine works…"

The entire room groaned and laid their faces down on the meeting table, taking their seats.

Veigar, who was currently drinking coffee, placing his fifth cup down as he tried to keep himself distracted.

Minutes gone by like a snail dragging itself along, and Veigar was one of the employees who were suffering. He looked up to see what the other employees were doing. Across from him sat Lee Sin who was sitting still either listening or zoning out… But the drool in the corner of his mouth proved otherwise. To his left sat Katarina and Garen who were writing vigorously, blushing as they did so. To his right sat Kog'Maw who was eating the donut boxes that were stacked in front of him, spitting acidic goo all over the floors and walls as he did so.

Veigar recoiled in disgust and leaned back in his comfy, black office chair. He began to doze off and soon he closed his eyes, going back to the dream that he dreamed of the day before…

Ruling the world…

* * *

><p>The yordle smiled and breathed in the nice air conditioned air as she picked up a purple pastry, smiling as she did so. With her feet propped up against her desk, and her coffee mug that said "<em>There is Good in E.V.I.L"<em>, she was living the dream of being in a high position of the _E.V.I.L_ Corporation.

This yordle wore a velvet hat and a dress to match, along with her large wooden staff huddled against the corner of her room. Her office was brightly lit from a large window that casted large, golden rays of sunlight that scattered all over the room. The room itself was pretty standard, except for the fact that it had televisions and speakers everywhere.

The yordle giggled as she watched a fellow employee trip and smash his face against a wall yelling, _"OH MY DEMACIA! IT HURTS! IT F****** HURTS!"_

The yordle giggled and began to draw, "Poor Xin Zhao! I better bring him a purple cake to make him feel better!"

This yordles name is Lulu, one of the head officers within the _E.V.I.L_ Corporation. To start off, Lulu began as a lower tier worker selling stuff by phone, and driving delivery trucks from house to house giving off goods. With customer recommendations flooding in about how good her service was, the head gave her a promotion. And a few weeks later, here she was!

Lulu was a peculiar yordle. She wasn't like the others…

She was a little insane, naïve, and carefree. But in truth, she just viewed the world differently and her experiences in life made her the way she is now.

An observant, paranoid yordle that likes to stalk people all day through her security cameras that she had personally installed all over her office.

How did this happen? Will its simple!

Someone stole her purple cake…

After that fateful day, Lulu couldn't bare it. She lost control, and she went on a rampage; transforming people into squirrels, transforming employees into birds, the works. The head of the company gave her one good look, and instantly made her the head of security and shipment of electronics…

The company system is pretty f***** up.

With her creepy habit, and job, Lulu has her sights set on one particular employee. A purple one in fact, a short purple yordle with a wizard hat…

Lulu looked up from her drawing and spotted him, on the camera, running out of the meeting office shouting, _"FREEDOM!"_ then slipping on a stray piece of paper.

Lulu giggled and sighed happily, staring at Veigar with half closed eyes.

Suddenly a pink flying pixie appeared before Lulu and bowed, carrying a fairy sized camera around its neck.

"Oh Pix! Back already?" Lulu asked as she munched on a purple bagel.

The fairy nodded and handed her the camera, puffing up his chest as he did so.

"You're the best Pix! Did you manage to get some good shots!?"

The pixie nodded and took the memory card out of the camera, and placed it into her desktop. Almost instantly, a file came up on her personal computer monitor titled 'Definitely NOT Super Secret Stuff'.

She clicked on the folder and she waited a second before the entire screen was flooded with pictures of a certain purple yordle in his business suit and wizard hat.

Lulu scrolled through the pictures and stared at one particular one labeled, "Day 351 (1 of 15)"

She stared with a smile on her face as she did so and began to day dream.

"Oh Veigar~" Lulu said as she hugged the computer monitor, "You'll be mine soon…"

* * *

><p>"F****** GOD DAMN IT!" Veigar yelled as he rubbed his head with his gloved hand, "WHO THE HELL PLACED PAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY!?"<p>

"Or better yet, why the hell would you be running in an office?" Yasuo remarked as he and Veigar walked towards the cafeteria for lunch.

"Ohhh, now aren't you just mister smart ass?" Veigar said rolling his eyes.

Yasuo just laughed as he pressed the elevator button for the ground floor. "That's my middle name, don't wear it out."

Veigar huffed and crossed his arms, "I can't believe they made us stay in that damned meeting room for an hour and a half! Like seriously, it felt like an eternity!"

"Unlike you my dear friend, the wind is forever eternal. It blows where ever it goes, leaving its mark as time passes by-"

"You're not making any sense you know that?"

Yasuo grunted, "True that…"

The elevator door opened and a pool of workers fell out, chattering loudly amongst each other about work, gossip, and other things.

The _E.V.I.L_ building was very well furnished in the inside with an employee lounge, high tech bathrooms, televisions broadcasting news, gift shops, and a well furnished cafeteria that offered cheap foods like burgers and tacos.

As Veigar and Yasuo opened the double doors that lead to the cafeteria, they were suddenly hit by a set of delicious smells that made their mouths water.

Yasuo breathed in deeply as he made his way towards the lunch line, "Man, I'm up for some good ol'e processed meat!"

Veigar scrunched his nose and eyed the junk the humans called, "fast food."

"How can you eat this stuff!?" Veigar protested grabbing a fruit cup, "I can literally smell s*** coming out of this garbage!"

Yasuo laughed as he picked a salad and some milk, "You yordles got no taste in food… At least in human food."

"We yordles like to eat what you humans eat. But we've been avoiding this junk for centuries on end!"

"I'm pretty sure fast food wasn't invented centuries ago."

"Again, a smart ass…"

Veigar and Yasuo took their seats in a secluded area of the cafeteria away from the crowds of people that were huddling into their groups.

Veigar and Yasuo both ate in silence for a while till a fellow employee began to come over.

Veigar's eyes widened as he realized who it was. And he clenched his teeth tightly at the sight of the hideous monster that called himself a yordle.

Yasuo as well cringed slightly as he realized who was coming their way. His hands clenched tightly and he winced from remembering the pain from the poison this demon caused on the Rift years back.

Both of the workers sighed in anger as the both said, "Teemo…"

Teemo settled his tray of mushrooms down and offered them a heartwarming smile.

"What up guys!? Meeting was pretty interesting huh?"

Veigar shacked his head, "Teemo, what the hell are you doing here?"

Teemo looked up from his drug shrooms, disguised as a mushroom salad, and smiled, "Was just looking for a place to sit. Most of the seats were taken and overcrowded. So I decided to stay here with you guys!"

"Teemo, I do not mean to be rude or anything but we still have grudges against you…" Yasuo exclaimed taking a sip of his milk.

Teemo's eyes widened, "Hey look man, that was years ago! I'm out of the shroom business I swe-"

"We saw you smoking a stack in the back during lunch break yesterday…" Veigar whispered in his ear.

Teemo's eyes widened, and then grabbed Veigar's shirt collar. _"Listen here you low life piece of tits! If you rat me out to the company head I'll be sure to put your name in my death box two times this week."_

"Oh? And how many tickets do I have in there?" Veigar remarked, a hidden grin crossing his lips.

_"To many… In fact if I told you, you'll be crying on the floor wishing you were never born."_

Veigar pushed Teemo's hand away and chuckled, "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say you lunatic."

Suddenly, the intercom went off in the cafeteria and a women's voice with a French accent boomed. "Laidtes and gentlemen, may I ave your attenshion please?"

The cafeteria went silent as they turned their attention to the speakers.

"If vue may, report to dah auditorium for anozar staff meeting please! We ave a new employee who you all shall bee dying to meet!"

_"ROAR!"_

The French ladies voice fell into chaos as a gorilla like roar echoed through the speakers.

"Ghet avay from meh you viel monstar!"

_"GNARRRR!"_ The creature yelled.

Then the speakers went silent and all the employees filed out of the cafeteria grumbling.

"So I take it this fellow is going to be another psychopath?" Yasuo said.

Veigar nodded and looked at Teemo, "Afraid so…"

Yasuo facepalmed himself, "Just what I needed…"

"Once again," Veigar said leaving a high Teemo behind, "smart ass…"


	3. Gnar and Veigar in Dinner Time

Chapter 3- Gnar and Veigar in Dinner Time

The auditorium was filled with chatter and was jam packed as usual. Veigar and Yasuo made their way to their assigned seats which was near the front end of the auditorium.

"So, whatcha think the new employee is going to be like?" Veigar asked as he sipped on some juice.

"I don't know. From that announcement I feel like he's gonna be crazy like you."

"Shut up man, I'm not that crazy!"

"Admit it, you are."

Veigar narrowed his eyes at Yasuo as they took their seats.

For some odd reason the champions were seated not by their last names, but by their first names. And as a result, Yasuo and Veigar were seated a few rows from each other.

Veigar sighed heavily as he dropped his bottom on the squishy red seat. He placed his juice box on his arm rest and he stared off towards the stage.

He stared… Stared… And stared…

Veigar was getting pissed from having to wait so long.

"WHEN THE HELL IS THE SHOW GOING TO-" Veigar stopped himself as he felt hot, stinky breath come in contact with his neck, "Start…"

Veigar turned his head around and raised an eyebrow at a disgusting fat man with green ooze coming out of his stomach. This man in particular, had no legs; nor did he have hands. Instead, he had a spatula on his right hand, a ketchup dispenser on the other, and had robotic crab legs. He wore a chiefs hat and wore a chiefs apron that said, "What Ur-GOT!?"

Veigar's face became dead panned.

"What the hell do you want Urgot…"

Urgot just kept breathing heavily with wide eyes. He let out some gurgling noises and green foam formed around his over sized asthma inhaler.

Urgot pointed towards the juice Veigar had on his arm rest.

Veigar looked at Urgot, then at his juice. Then looked at him again, then at his juice.

Veigar took his juice box and gave it to Urgot who used his spatula hand to try and grab it. Instead he knocked it out of Veigar's hand by accident, and Urgot watched as the juice spread all over the floor.

Veigar looked at Urgot, then at the juice.

"You're a f****** disgrace, you know that?"

Urgot's one good eye watered, and he dashed out of the auditorium, gurgling as he did so.

The lights suddenly went off and stage lights came on, all pointing towards the podium in the middle of the stage.

A woman came out behind the curtains with a tight black suit and mini-skirt. She walked with elegance and stopped in front of the microphone. She tapped it a few times and then cleared her throat; coughing a little.

"Hello me fellow workerz. My name es Fioza! I came here in deh bee-half ov the head of deh E.V.I.L corp-orashion!"

The audience clapped.

"Az ye know, we ave a new employee today! Give a big round ov applausez for Mr. Gnar!"

The audience clapped excitedly as the curtains rustled.

A few seconds later, a fluffy head popped out and stared blankly at the crowd. The new employee was wide eyed, with two large teeth popping out in both ends of his mouth. He wore a bone head ornament that looked like the skull of an ancient bird, and dragged a bone boomerang across the floor; all the while wearing a small, bit oversized suit.

The puff ball waddled along the stage as the stage lights gave him their attention.

The audience's applause died down as Ganr took his place in front of the microphone.

Gnar sniffed the microphone, licked the microphone, then placed the microphone into his mouth.

Fiora took the microphone out of Gnar's mouth and placed it back on its stand.

Gnar tilted his head sideways, than took in a deep breath.

"Ohh noh nehga! Ohh maga Gnar!" The little creature cried cutely.

The audience broke into cheers at the speech Gnar gave them. But Veigar however, wasn't even fazed by this. He took one good look at Gnar, and then decided that he was going on his shit list.

Fiora took the microphone, "What he's trying to say es dat he es Gnar. He es a yordle dat we found frozen in a mineshaft."

Gnar took the microphone away from Fiora and started running out of the auditorium with it, licking it like a lollipop.

Fiora yelled at Gnar and started to chase him down, but her movements were limited because of her high heels and short skirt.

"COME BACK HERE WITH DEH MICROPHONE!"

Gnar stopped in front of the double doors and stuck up his tooshy. "SHOO SHOO PAH NAH! HAHAHAHAHA!"

With that, Gnar waddled out of the auditorium with a very angry Fiora chasing him down.

Once the duo were out, the lights came back on and the employees were allowed to leave.

Veigar sighed as he filed out of the auditorium with a minor headache.

Already he could imagine what was going to happen in the next coming weeks in the office. The work place will be crowded in one spot with a boat load of commotion coming from it. This new employee named Gnar will most likely cause trouble for the company. Not only did he not seem to know how to speak English, but he also seemed to lack some common sense.

_"I'm never going to climb up the latter like this! Ugh, now I have two morons to deal with everyday in my life. First there's Teemo, then there's going to be this Gnar fagget…"_

Veigar shivered at the thought of those two working together to make the office an even more hell then it already was.

* * *

><p>As the work day came to an end all the employees took turns clocking out. Veigar however, was one of the few people who stayed behind. Not because he wanted to, but because he still needed to finish the essay that was due a few days ago.<p>

"F****** essay, f****** office, f****** donuts, f****** company, f******-"

Veigar stopped in the middle of his banter as he felt heavy breathing coming from behind his neck once more.

Veigar's eye twitched and he turned around sharply, "LISTEN HERE URGOT! IF YOU BREATH DOWN MY F****** NECK ONE LAST TIME, I'LL MURDER YOU IN YOUR-"

Veigar's face met a yordle with two large, round sparkling eyes with teeth coming out both ends of his mouth. The yordle breathed heavily as he attempted to touch Veigar's computer.

"Ooh me laga!"

Veigar slapped Gnar's hand away, "Hands off you disgusting imbecile! Don't you DARE touch my computer! I swear if you touch it one more time I'll- HEY!"

Gnar took Veigar's computer and licked it, all the while rubbing his furry face against the screen.

"DON'T YOU KNOW ANY ENGLISH!? I SAID IF YOU TOUCHED MY COMPUTER, I WILL RIP YOUR F****** FACE OFF YOU LITTLE ANUS MUNCH-"

"There you are Mr. Veigar!"

Veigar face palmed himself as he turned to see one of the head companies slutty assistants walk towards him.

"Ugh, what do you want Fiora!? Can't you see I'm busy!? It's bad enough I need to do over time-"

Fiora went down on one knee and bowed to Veigar.

Veigar looked around the office awkwardly, until he raised his chin high. "I see that you've finally come to your senses and have submitted yourself to me! Finally, my first plan for world domination is complete! If you submit yourself to me this easily, THEN THIS WHOLE COMPANY WILL BOW DOWN, TO THE ALL. MIGHTY. VEIGA-"

"Pleaze take Mr. Gnar with you home…"

Veigar looked down towards Fiora, "WHAT!?"

"You heard me, I vant you to take Mr. Gnar home with you."

"But why me!? Why must I take him home!?"

Fiora sighed, "I just can't take dis little vermin anymore! He es jus, soh, irritating! I am in charge of him, but I'm starting to lose it!"

"Well then that's your problem!" Veigar turned around and resumed typing with a Gnar chewing on his desk. "Good luck taking care of him! I'm sure you two will make a GREAT couple!"

"I'll give you a raise…"

Veigar turned his little office chair around and faced Fiora with both hands intertwined with each other. "Add in a promotion, and you have yourself a deal…"

Fiora stared at him blankly…

* * *

><p>Veigar stared at Gnar blankly…<p>

It's been five minutes already and yet Gnar still wasn't able to put his seat belt on. They were currently in Veigar's car driving along the street slowly so Gnar wouldn't freak out and so he wouldn't get hurt.

Normally Veigar wouldn't really give a damn if someone put a seat belt on or not, but Gnar was a special case…

* * *

><p><em>"Alvight! You can get a raise AND a promoshion!"<em>

_ "YES!" Veigar cheered._

_ "But first, you have to promise meh a few things."_

_ Veigar's cheer died down and he listened._

_ "Dee head wants Gnar to be unharmed in ANY vay. Also, you have to…"_

* * *

><p>Veigar stopped his car and parked it, releasing a frustrated sigh.<p>

He got out of the car and went to the back seat. He opened the door and what he saw didn't surprise him.

Gnar looked at him with an innocent smile as he waved a stubby hand. He was tangled head to toe with the seat belt, in seemingly endless knots.

"Go mah laka bella sem haga!" Gnar said laughing.

Veigar grunted in annoyance and helped Gnar get out of his seat belt problem. After a few minutes, Veigar finally got Gnar free and they both got out of the car.

The duo stopped in front of the restaurant titled, _"Yordle's Paradise"_. This place was pretty well known for its high class dishes, as well as it being only available to the higher ups. Basically, it's a high end restaurant.

As Veigar and Gnar entered the establishment, Gnar gasped in surprise and waddled towards a fish tank.

"Feeshhhhyyy!" Gnar said in amazement.

Veigar rolled his eyes, _'At least he knows SOME form of English…'_

A waiter with a name tag labeled 'Bob' came up to them in a fancy waiter suit. "Do you have a reservation?"

"We came here under the name of Ms. Fiora. Or more like, FORCED to come here under the name of Ms. Fiora…"

The waiter nodded and gestured the duo into the main dining room.

Gnar still looked at the fish, until Veigar grabbed Gnar by the collar and dragged him along.

* * *

><p>They both stared at each other, unmoving, reading each other's movements.<p>

Their food was half way done, but Veigar kept staring at Gnar's big round eyes with an intensity that could kill.

Gnar just looked at him blankly, his eyes still shining with fascination.

Veigar kept on looking at him, until he felt a small gust of wind blow directly at him.

He blinked.

Veigar smashed his face against the mash potatoes as he lost another game of the 'Staring Contest' with Gnar.

"ARE YOU EVEN TRYING!? YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS!"

Gnar just stared.

Veigar got up and waved a hand over Gnar's blank face.

Gnar drooled and let out a snore.

Veigar deadpanned. He was playing the staring contest for over an hour out of pure boredom, and this little maniac was already sleeping with his eyes open.

Veigar shook his head and grabbed Gnar along, going out of the restaurant, and towards his car.

As the duo got ready to leave, Veigar tossed Gnar into the back seat and drove off towards his house where they would both spend the night.

_"What a boring, and uninteresting day AND dinner… Can this night get even MORE boring!?"_

For a few minutes, Veigar drove in silence while Gnar slept, twitching and moaning a little.

'_Well… If he's asleep, then he wouldn't mind if I go super fast!"_

Veigar floored the gas pedal and they sped off towards the deserted street. Veigar laughed like a maniac as he envisioned himself running over Noxians and making the women swoon over his extra speediness.

'_The nights still young! HAHHAHAHAHA-"_

…

Gnar stirred from his sleep in the backseat and he cried out, _"GNAR!"_

The car suddenly stopped in the middle of the road as a sudden weight held it down in the back seat.

"WHAT THE FU-"

That's when Veigar saw a really big red monster step on the hood of his car, and made its way towards the nearest building; destroying it.

"HEY GNAR WAKE UP YOU S***, ARE YOU SEEING THIS!?"

Veigar looked at the passenger's seat, and saw nothing but shredded metal, and a large opening in the roof of his car.

Veigar looked at the passenger seat, then at the monster. Then at the passenger seat, then at the monster.

Then it dawned on him…

Veigar got out of his car as the city suddenly burst into flames, with utter chaos running about.

Veigar looked at his vehicle in all the chaos, and got to his knees, ticked off with anger.

"MY... CAR!"

And Gnar still kept on destroying the city, like King Kong.

* * *

><p>AN:

I don't hate Urgot, he is best ADC.


End file.
